Will this come as a shock if I told you that we have had 20 school shootings in the US in just the first 4 months this year?… Yes, 20!
That is an average of 1 school shooting per week.
With the loss of young lives due to gun violence comes this chilling realization that our society is living in fear, operating from a place of fear. The grief of the families who have lost their children and the trauma of the young people who saw their peers got shot can never be undone. However we can work together for a future where such heinous acts of violence can be avoided.
Of course, there should be a multi-pronged solution to such a deep rooted societal problem. I have no doubt that calling for a change in gun laws would be one effective solution but what about the core values that we teach our children? What about how we, the parents and the teachers, conduct ourselves in front of them when we are upset, angry, sad or frustrated? Do we react or respond? Do we teach our children to be empathetic towards others? Do we teach them to be up-standers or bystanders? And above all do we make time for our children when they are going through tough times to bond with them and recognize when our children are succumbing to bullying, peer pressure or anxiety on account of various reasons. When children, adolescents and adults are labeled ‘mentally ill’ do we see to it that they get extraordinary support and compassion without judgement? How I wish we could make time and effort to do this and teach the next generation the same! If we accomplish this in all communities, the ‘mentally ill’ or the ‘misfits’ (as our society unfortunately and judgmentally labels them) will not feel abandoned and resort to retaliation. They just need to know and feel that they belong and have a respectable place in this society. Don’t we all want the same for ourselves? Then why is it so difficult to understand and empathize with others?
It is not that we are reluctant to teach these values to our children but the fact that we are busy, stimulated, and on autopilot all the
time. We lack the time to put ourselves in other people’s shoes.
So my friends, please make time everyday to practice yourself and teach your children to be compassionate to themselves and
others, try to see the other person’s predicament and contemplate the means to help.
I believe compassion (aka Metta or Loving Kindness) is the antidote to fear, insecurity and hence violence.
And here is how to get started…
Sit comfortably with eyes closed and take a few breaths to ground yourself in the present moment. When you are ready, visualize and send kind thoughts to yourself. Say the following phrases…
May I be happy and healthy.
May I be safe.
May I be peaceful.
Then visualize someone you love and repeat the phrases…
May you be happy and healthy.
May you be safe.
May you be peaceful.
Then visualize someone you are not fond of or have tough time connecting with and say the same phrases.
My daughter loves to also send kind thoughts to our pet. Let children explore and feel how they connect with themselves and others and notice how sometimes it may be difficult for them to send kind thoughts to someone they don’t like. That is okay. There is no judgement involved here. Sending kind thoughts does not necessarily mean that we have to make friends with someone. It only means that we are genuinely wishing them well.
I strongly believe that practicing compassion may help us connect at heart level with the people who hold unattended grudges and aggression over a long period of time, get angry and depressed and want to hurt themselves or others. It can help us induce the sense of belongingness.
